Where I am, where you ought to be, where I’m not by Kris Dionio

This written piece, titled Where I am, where you ought to be, where I’m not” by Kris Dionio is an emotional and descriptive post-breakup account through a home where once, two had shared their love. Kris is a frequent submitter to The Continuist and we couldn’t be more grateful for yet another one of their contributions! A big thanks to them for showing us how they see Attachment.

Where I am, where you ought to be, where I’m not

Where I am. Old sketches I drew of you–scattered, strewn over hardwood floors. Sheets of snow on brown oak. Grey mounds of ash–a desk dusted. Is it patchouli? Sandalwood? Nag champa? It all looks the same now. Journals stained with coffee rings–they remind me of your finger prints–something to hold onto when you can’t anymore. Clear plastic water bottles–on the floor, on the desk–some still filled with water, but not like you’re there to drink them anymore. Dirty ceramic mugs. Clean laundry. An unmade bed with no one laying in it–

I cannot tell if I am haunted or enchanted by the way you have left, but still remain.

By the way the light breaks through the black curtains, casting a spotlight where you should be–where you ought to be. By the way my bed has just enough room for someone else–where you ought to be. By the way the desk hasn’t shifted, the books haven’t been shelved, the walls haven’t been painted, and the posters haven’t changed since the first day you walked in. Since the last day you walked out–where you ought to be. Outside this room, outside this mess–where you ought to be. Where I’m not.

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